The "Scary" Black Woman: Perceptions of Politeness

There was an interesting interaction and observation that followed at an event I was performing at which I wanted to share because its important to show the nuances in gender and race relations, not everything screams "RACIST" at you as a black woman, there is unconscious bias, there are microaggressions sometimes blatantly obvious and sometimes subtle like the misconceptions and misperceptions which are are formed from that place of prejudice.

Firstly I do want to say that this was a personal interaction and has no bearing on the event I was at, genuinely had the best time at this event! It was in celebration of International Women's Day and one of the most amazing women I know in the Arts put it together with the help of a gorgeous venue. It was an inclusive programme of events and lots of talented, creative women took to the stage to celebrate and be celebrated as women. There was a lot of love in the room that night!

I wanted to document this amazing event, so I had set up a camera and tripod next to my seat. A man was sat next to me on a table, the tripod between us and he had people with him who he was leaning over to talk to and vice versa. I politely asked him and the people he was if they could keep the line of vision clear. They seemed nice enough about my request, the man even checked with me to make sure he wasn't in the way at one point which initially thought was him being considerate. 

I left the camera recording to go wait beside the stage, ready for my set. The man sat next to me must have realised I wasn't coming back to my seat, as when I watched the footage back afterwords; I can hear him the first few seconds in twigging that I was performing and not just a camera operator.

The compere who was reading out my biography had mentioned that my work explores feminism, to which I can could hear the man in the clip say "she's not going on is she?" there is a pause while the compere continues on, before he says "ooof...scary!"

The mind betrays us in interesting ways, especially when we think we're not being observed. It was an interesting reminder that women (particularly black women) are always perceived a certain way even when they are being polite. I've been called aggressive at work while my white female counterparts get called assertive for the exact same behaviour. I have also witnessed white women endure similar struggles in regards to the gender with men, ie. being labeled emotional while their male colleague is seen as passionate for example. It's important to understand intersectionalities and how we are using our own privileges, that we are choosing to counteract the challenges facing not just our own layers that have disadvantaged us by society but the many and often overlapping layers of others. 

Happy International Women's Day Mr Man, hope the fragility wears off soon!

Best Wishes

The "Scary" Woman 

X